Interview with the Reeve

(Disclaimer: Interviews with the Reeve follow the character in the books of the Climber Series. For those who have not read them, the Reeve is a powerful creature responsible for discipline in a society supposedly representative of hell; in such a location, it would have to be stern discipline indeed. Decent people, however, would object to the use of the term "discipline" and label it the worst kind of torture imaginable. Paradoxically, this fearsome torturer considers himself a gentleman and exhibits the best of manners.)

    "Where is the scribe?" asked Reeve Mephisto, looking around his cabin where we had agreed to meet.
    "I will be your scribe."
    "You are hardly a scribe. Cornelius described the scribe Lucius to me."
    "Oh, you've read the Climber series?"
    "Is that what you call it? I call it an autobiography." The Reeve gestured to a block of wood inside his cabin on which I should sit. "You certainly are a strange looking creature." He held up a thumb, closed an eye and intently studied me. "I don't think I have a screaming box into which you would fit."
    I swallowed hard. "I'm not here for discipline. Don't you remember why I'm here?"
    "No."
    "You're going to help with my blog."
    "What's a blog?"
    "A form of communication among humans on a computer."
    "What's a computer?"
    I sighed. "A machine humans use to communicate."
    "What's a human?" Before I could respond, he laughed. "Got you there. Remember, I read the autobiography. What am I supposed to do?"
    The Reeve had a very intimidating presence. I had brushed up against him as we entered his cabin; it was like brushing up against a granite rock. His muscular density defied description. But more intimidating was his sense of command. And the power of his gaze.
    "Um, help me with my project to encourage boys to read."
    "I don't read much."
    "Oh." I began thinking of a new blog title.
    "You see, Climber culture is not real big on reading. Why do you want to encourage little humans to read?"
    "It exercises the brain and makes them more successful."
    "Really? What is successful in human culture?" The Reeve was standing across from me as he spoke, eye to eye. He frowned and glanced in the direction of his pantry. "How rude of me. Would you like something to drink? I am known for my hospitality." He chuckled.
    "No thank you."
    "I will indulge, if you don't mind." Without waiting for me to approve, he power walked over to the pantry and began tinkering. "Go on," he called out.
    "Success in human culture is the development of our abilities to our potential."
    "What for?"
    "For our benefit and more importantly the benefit of those with whom we have a relationship: family, friends, fellow citizens and our Creator." I was pretty impressed that I was able to rattle that off the top of my head.
    "Oh ho!" boomed the Reeve in his deep bass voice, the muscular sound way out of proportion to his 3 1/2 foot height. "That's a mouthful. And you think reading helps this?"
    "I know it does."
    He returned to the sitting area and made himself comfortable in a hammock chair. "So, let me get this straight. You are asking a non-literate, non-human who takes great pride in extracting pain from others and despises our Creator to help you with book reviews for humans so that they can be nice to others and honor our Creator. And I getting this right?"
    I just stared back at him.
    "Not too bright are you?" Reeve Mephisto laughed and took a large swig from his mug.